Gildward watches from a window as his friends leave the inn and sighs. They were heading off to some random dungeon outside of town, and left him out of the active party again...

Bored, the bard leaves his room and walks into the inn’s main room, intending to remedy his problems the way that his uncle taught him, by drinking himself unconscious before lunchtime. The tap room is empty; not surprising given that the sun just rose a couple of hours ago. The bartender, a fat man dressed in a black shirt, brown pants, and a customary white apron worn by bartenders on every corner of the map, looks up from cleaning the bar and smiles.

"Gimme a hard one," Giildward says, taking a seat at the bar. Of course, as alcohol doesn’t exist in this world, drinking himself into a stupor will be a herculean task. Still, characters who aren’t on the active party never have to pay for things, so the bard intends to give it his best shot.

"Rumor has it that Khrima has a new outpost to the east," The bartender answers.

Gildward rubs his chin, considering this. "The bartender didn’t say that last time," he says to himself, to to the bartender, "Tell me more."

"Rumor has it that Khrima has a new outpost to the east," replies the bartender

"Spoon it, he only got one line," mutters the bard. "Still, he didn’t say this yesterday. I wonder if Karn and the rest triggered some kind of event? Or maybe this is a character specific message, and only I get to hear it! Oh my god, could this be a subquest?!"

The bard leaps to his feet, kicking his heels in joy. "Thank you, bartender!" He says happily.

"Rumor has it that Khrima has a new outpost to the east," answers the bartender with a smile and a nod.

***

With his trusty harp Musicabillur in hand, Gildward happy sets out eastward. The sky is clear and the sun is bright, since the weather never changes without a plot-based reason. As the bard marches through the open grasslands to the east of town, he can’t help but strum a happy tune on his harp, playing in time with the overworld theme.

Then the music suddenly changes, going into Occupational Hazard, the combat theme that Gildward has learned to dread. Looking over, over, he sees the creature he is going to have to deal with, as the usual swirling of combat transition runs its course.

A massive humanoid, easily ten feet tall; its coal-black skin wrapped in black storm-clouds; charges in! It roars angrily, clenching its fists and working itself into a fit of battle rage as the bard watches in mute shock. A StrmGgas, his mind races. Great... I would have to get in a random encounter with something that has fifteen times more hit points than I do.

"GRRRAAAAAAHHHH!" roars the StrmGgas, as it looks down at Gildward, lightning crackling across its body. Then it suddenly drops out of its previous frenzy, and scratches its head. "Wait a moment," it says in a polite, cultured voice. "Shouldn’t there be three or four of you?"

"No, just me," answers Gildward in a voice that is surprisingly calm, considering that he is fighting to keep his bowels from losing control in terror.

"Oh, then you wouldn’t be on an active party, would you then?" replies the StrmGgas, "The only lone travelers I ever trade fisticuffs with are those with silver hair, black cloaks, and whatnot. Anyway, if you don’t happen to be on an active party, I would really be wasting my time here, no offense. Sorry about all the roaring and such; part of the job, don’t you know? Cheerio, then."

The StrmGgas walks away after giving the bard an polite nod, which sends out a small lightning bolt that fries a sparrow passing overhead. Gildward waves and says, "Don’t worry about it!"

***

As the day wears on, the grassland give rise to a forest in the north. Gildward’s course takes him within a stone’s throw of these woods. Birdsong comes from the forest, bringing a smile to the bard’s lips. He had always enjoyed the music of nature’s creatures, and nearly wrote his thesis on it at Bardic Academy. He occasionally plays a few notes in harmony with the birds’ music, enjoying life in general without random encounters.

This tranquility is shattered with a loud, mechanical rumbling echoes from within the forest. The birds scatter in panic, and Gildward is nearly ran over by an DoomWyrm fleeing from the forest as fast as it can!

The bard decides that the DoomWyrm has the right idea, as the rumbling gets louder, and runs as fast as his feet can carry him. Being a bard, Gildward is quite skilled at that, and manages to get a quarter mile from the edge of the forest when the source of the rumbling makes it’s presense known.

A huge green tank rockets out of the forest, leaving a trail of shattered foilage in it’s wake! As Gildward watches, the war machime closes in on the DoomWyrm, then the hatch opens, and a green-haired man pops his head out. Instantly, the bard recognizes him as Kemmit; despite the fact that the mercenary seems to have stuck a dagger through his headcloth, trying to mimick a Prussian military helmet. "FIRE!" he shouts in heavy German accent, making a scything motion with a riding crop he hold in his left hand.

The tank’s cannon roars to life, blasting the DoomWyrm to nothing more than three cans of Exp. Points and a small bag of gold. Kemmit leaps out of the tank and dashes toward the spoils. His partner, a small man with spikey brown hair and a blue headband, peeks out the hatch as well.

"Meck, vy are zere three kans of Exp?" Kemmit demands, picking up the spoils from DoomWyrm’s defeat.

"Maybe one’s for that guy?" Meck suggests, motioning toward Gildward.

"NEIN!" Kemmit cries, "I vill not give mein spoils to a stranger!"

"Kemmet," Meck says patiently, "You’re taking the Nazi Tank Commander thing a little too far."

"Am I?" Asks the mercenary, as he opens then chugs one of the cans of Exp.

"Yes," Meck replies.

"I’m sorry," Kemmit replies, "I just wanted to get in the mood. You know, with the tank and all."

Gildward considers trying to sneak away, but Meck looks back at him and says, "Hey, do you want your Exp or not?"

"Umm, okay," Gildward replies.

"Yeah, I guess it is for you," Kemmit says, tossing the can to Gildward. The Bard catches it handily, and pops it open.

"Hey, don’t you travel with Karn and Ardam and them?" Meck asks, Kemmit hands him his Exp.

"Yeah," Gildward answers, knowing that they’d likely recognize him sooner or later if he lied. "But I’m not travelling with them right now."

"Then what’re you doing all the way out here?" The green-haired mercenary asks as he climbs onto the tank

"Well, I heard that Khrima has a new outpost around here somewhere," replies Gildward, "And I was hoping to find it."

"Ah, that place," Meck says.

"We’ll take you there," Kemmit offers, "Climb on in!"

"But aren’t you supposed to be my enemies or something?" Gildward asks.

"We are Karn’s enemy," replies Meck, "We are Ardam’s enemy. I think we might the enmyof Drecker and that ninja; never was too clear on that. But you, we have no problems with."

"Not like you were with them whenever we fought them, anyway," Kemmit says with a wink. "Climb aboard, and we’ll give you a lift!"

***

"So I said to the Axe," Kemmit says, "‘I don’t know what happened to your spoony guitar, all I know is that isn’t in my hamper. Now get out of my chamber or I’ll use you for a karaoke machine!’"

"And then what happened?" Gildward asks.

"Then he reminded me that Khrima built lasers into him," Kemmit answers glumly. "The hard way. My leg still hurts when a storm comes through."

"Oh," says Gildward.

As odd as it seems, Gildward can’t help but admit that he has had fun traveling with the mercenaries. It’s hard not to enjoy oneself while tearing across the countryside at breakneck in an armored war machine. Nor can he say that he doesn’t like all of the exp. points that he’s gained as Meck blasts or runs over the various random encounters that they met.

Now, the tank is parked safely in the stables of the Dwarven Rose Inn, in an extra-large stall that seems to be meant for war elephants or dragons. Unfortunately, the stable boy is at quite a loss over what to do with it. Kemmit and Meck are busy spending their nearly-earned gold on drinks. Kemmit takes his straight from the bottle, while Meck is drinking his with a shotglass. Gildward suspects they do it mostly for appearances, although appearances can’t deny the word ‘Soda’ emblazoned on their drinks.

Gildward can’t remember the last time he’s been on an active party for so long. Perhaps, if he does well enough on his upcoming quest, Karn will let him travel with the active party more often! According to Meck, they should reach the outpost by tomorrow. That will be the time of truth, Gildward decides...

***

The K-Soldier slams the door of the bard’s cell shut with a conclusive, resounding clang. Gildward sighs as he looks around the prison. " I guess it was to be expected..." He says to himself, trying to ignore the rat scurries through the bars, "Someone had to recognize me."

The bard was rather jarred when he popped out of Kemmit and Meck’s tank, only to be drug off by Khrima’s red-uniformed soldiers. Judging from the looks of them, Gildward’s new friends were just as surprised. Still, this shouldn’t be too hard to deal with, the bard muses, Karn escapes from these things all the time.

He looks around the bare cell, but finds only the bench he is sitting on, and the rat. No gratings, nor any piles of straw or refuse that might hide a convienent key or lockpick. Gildward looks at the window, hoping to find that the bars are loose. However, the new concrete blocks of the recently-built fortress have not seen enough time pass by to loosen their hold on the stainless steel bars. Looking up, he sees the grate leading into the ventilation shaft that has been riveted shut. Feeling a little desperate, Gildward looks at the peg where the key rests, near the door some yards away.

"Ah spoon," the bard says, "they put me in the only escape-proof prison Khrima has!"

"Yep, she’s a beaut, ain’t she?" comes an elderly voice. Gildward looks over in time to see an old man in a blue and white uniform walk into the dungeon. Though obviously quite ancient from his string white hair and heavily wrinkled face, he also seems to be spry and quite healthy.

"Welcome to Khrima’s dungeon, son," the smiling old man says he reaches Gildward’s cell, extending a friendly hand through the bars. The bard takes it reluctantly. "Now don’t be shy, boy!" Declares the old man as he shakes Gildward’s hand so euthusiastically that it causes a little white five to appear over the bard’s head.

"Name’s Pappy, son, and I’m been a’ gaolin’ since ‘aught six! Yep, back in th’ days when the men were men and the sheep were scared!" Pappy starts to laugh; a dry, dessicated chuckle; slapping his leg in mirth.

"I’m Gildward," the bard says.

"Well, whaddaya say to a round’r three of blackjack to pass the time, Gilly?" Asks Pappy, producing a deck of cards from his pocket. "Or I could go round up a few other young’uns and we’ll have us a right proper game of poker!"

"Okay," Gildward agrees, deciding that a minigame might be just the thing to take his mind off of the situation. "Poker sounds like fun."

"Great!" exclaims Pappy, as he whips out a large judge marked with an alarming number of X’s. "We’ll mess around with this to make things int’restin’. Winner take all and losers take shots! Back in the winter of forty-three, I lost near three thousand gil tryin’ to keep warm at night!"

The old man cackles again as he sets the clay jug down with a dull thump, and scurries out of the prison to round up some more players. Gildward stares at the jug, not entirely sure if he really wantts know what is inside it or not.

A few minutes later, Pappy bustles back into the dungeon, half-leading, half-dragging one of Khrima’s robot flunkies, and The Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor! Releasing them long enough to fetch the key and throw open Gildward’s cell, the old man declares "Let’s get this little shindig started!" and lets loose another crazy old man laugh.

***

In the past hour and a half, Gildward learned many things.

First, he learned that Pappy has a cousin who hails from Final Fantasy V, where liquor does exist, and is not shy about sharing it with family. Also, Pappy is not shy about sharing it with everyone else.

Second, he learned that mechanical beings and alcohol do not mix when the Robot Flunky took its first shot and exploded from a short circuit.

Third, winning at Pappy’s brand of poker becomes progressively easier as it wears on, provided that one wins the early hands first.

"Well cornsharnit!" The old jailor slurs, "I fold again!" He throws down his cards, and promptly pours a shot of the vile brown liquid into his glass. And after downing it, he promptly collapses and starts snoring..

Gildward surveys the table, assessing the pot. Lying on the table so far are several thousand gil, a bottle with a glowing pink fairy inside, a Heart Container Piece, a piece of twine, some zenny coins, a few dozen fol, a stilleto, six cans of K-Guard Exp. Points, a few of the Robot Flunky’s circuit boards, and a tube of Wing-B-Gone. "I’ll raise you one bard hat," he says after a moment, removing his hat and placing it on the table, grimacing as his defense score becomes even more abysmal.

"Only one way to match that," answers The Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor. He stands unsteadily, and whips of his armor in a smooth motion. Gildward starts as the Silver-Haired Man, now wearing only silken back robes, sets his armor down on the table.

"Okay, I call," Gilward says.

"Right," answers the Silver Haried Man in Silken Black Robes after a moment, and lays down his cards. He almost misses the table, though, and nearly drops them on the floor. Gildward sighs, and holds up his single ace.

"How many aces do you see?"

"Um..." Replies the Silver-Haired Man in Silken Black Robes, squinting at the card, "Three!"

"That’s right," The bard says.

"Shpoony..." The Silver-Haired Man in Silken Black Robes mutters, reaching for the jug. "You win again!"

"I’ll be going now," Gildward says, standing. "You just rest your head and take a nap." The Silver-Haired Man in Silken Black Robes mutters something incomprehensible, and does just that. Soon, his soft breathing joins Pappy’s snores and the Robot Flunky’s occasional electric crackle.

Looking away, the bard starts scooping his winnings into a pocket sewn inside of his cloak. It is not nearly so efficient as Karn’s beloved bag, for it only works when drawing things from or placing them in the shadows. Still, it is enough to provide a good home for most of Gildward’s winnings.

Placing his hat back on top of his head, Gildward smiles as his defense score raises from abysmal to merely depressing. He then looks at one of his winnings, considering its use to him. Finally, after a moment of mental debate, he takes the Gold-Trimmed Black Armor and slides it over his head.

Much to his surprise, the armor fits Gildward perfectly, despite the fact that the Silver-Haired Man in Silken Black Robes is almost a foot taller than he. It is also completely weightless. Sadly, it does nothing for his defense score, as it is simply a disguise. Still, the world’s strongest bard can’t help but admire how cool the armor looks on him. Definitely one of the perks of being a villian, he muses.

After taking a moment to collect himself, Gildward leaves the dungeon, and starts to walk down the hall. He knows that he has to get out of here, before he runs into any guards.

"Hey!" shouts a voice behind, startling the bard. "What are you doing out of your cell!"

Gildward turns to find two K-Soldiers; their weapons pointed at him. "And what do you think that you are doing? " He asks calmly, trying to make his voice sound mildly threatening.

"Um, return you to your cell?" Answers one of the guards uncertainly.

"And why would I need to be returned to a cell?" Gildward inquires, "Are you both truly so dense that you cannot tell who I am?"

"You’re that bard we caught in the vehicle bay, aren’t you?" The other soldier asks timidly.

"Would that bard be wearing Gold-Trimmed Black Armor?" Asks Gildward.

"No sir!" Exclaims the first soldier, "Of course not, sir! I knew it was just you in disguise sir! I tried to tell Shelby here that it was you, but he just wouldn’t listen!"

"You spoony Judas!" exclaims the second soldier, Shelby, "It was your idea to come up behind him and shout ‘Hey!’! I told you we should have been more respectful about it! But no, you have to go and spoon it all up, then try to pin the blame on me!"

"Ahem," the bard interrupts. Both soldiers fall quiet instantly. "Since it seems that neither of you can see through a simple disguise, perhaps you report to the Fire Mines for... retraining. But I will instead attribute your mistake to the effectiveness of my disguise. So you two will make sure that none of the other K-Soldiers make the same mistake that you did."

"Yes sir!" both K-Soldiers cry before scurrying off.

***

The World’s Strongest Bard in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor was lost. True to form, Khrima had designed his outpost like a maze. The corridors winds around without purpose, and most of the rooms are empty. Also, there are a number of teleporters, each leading to rooms that look exactly alike. Not only that, but the treasure chests only have eyedrops in them...

Gildward tries to keep his spirits high by strumming the dungeon theme from Phantasy Star 2 on his harp, which feels oddly appropriate. Once in a while he encounters a group of randomly wandering K-Soldiers. At first, he had to convince them that he was the Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor. But after the first few times, word seems to have spread, for the soldiers started greeting him as ‘Gildward, sir!’ and tapping the edges of their noses while smiling slyly at him.

As Gildward rounds a corner that seems less familiar than the other couple of hundred he has rounded in the past hour or so. However, around this corner is a large, steel door. Normally, given his depressing defense stat and lack of physical or magical power, the bard would be a little cautious around something so obviously dangerous. Instead, overjoyed that he might have actually gotten somewhere, and confident his assumed role will protect him, he gladly throws open the thick steel door. This is not quite as impressive as it sounds, really, as an eight year-old girl could just as easily open that door if she were an RPG character.

Beyond that door is a cavernous chamber lined with security monitors. Literally dozens of different views of the outpost are shown on these monitors. And sitting at a simple wooden table, watching a portable TV, is a gray-skinned man in black robes. His red eyes are focused on the televsion competely; his chin rests in one hand, which is propped on the edge of the table. Needless to say, Gildward freezes in panic as he realizes he has stumbled into Khrima’s Lair!

Gildward hurriedly checks the monitors, and see that one is focused on the prison. Luckily, from the angle, the only thing that seems amiss is the The Silver Haired Man in Silken Black Robes’s foot is in the corner of the screen. "Can I help you?" Khrima asks, looking away from the TV. He raises an eyebrow as he sees the bard, and asks, "Where did you get that armor?"

"I, uh, won it in a minigame," Gildward answers. Despite his terror, or perhaps because of it, the bard notices a bowl of oranges sitting at the edge of Khrima’s table. One orange, set on top, has a pair of red eyes and an evil grin drawn on by magic marker.

The archvillain shrugs, then asks, "You’re that bard who travels with Karn, aren’t you?"

"Um, kinda..." answers Gildward.

"The Silver-Haired Man is going to want that back," Khrima points out. "Why are you wearing it, anyway? Are you trying to be evil? If so, I already have a bard. Sorry."

"Ah, spoony,"Gildward say in mock disappointment, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

"Anyway, if you’re turning evil,"Khrima continues, "and you’re not joining me, I’m afraid I’ll have to destroy you. No hard feelings and all, I just don’t like the competition."

"You don’t need to do that!" Gildward explains, raising his hands in a friendly, palms out gesture, "I wouldn’t you to go through all that trouble..."

"Oh, no trouble at all, really," Khrima answers, reach under the table and pulling out a rather large laser, "Just hold still, this should be quick."

"Uh, I wouldn’t want you to waste your ammo." Gildward replies, putting on his friendliest smile.

"It doesn’t use ammo," Khrima explains as he sets the cannon on his shoulder, and it begins to power up with a loud whine, "It runs fuel cells, and I can get them for a dime a dozen on the Evil Home Shopping Network"

"Does that mean the normal Home Shopping Network is not evil?" Asks the bard.

""Of course it is!" answers Khrima, "It’s just that the Evil Home Shopping Network sell useful things! Well, let’s do this thing... Hey! Is that a tube of Wing-B-Gone hidden in your cloak?"

"Yeah..." Gildward answers, "Want it? I don’t have any use for it. Hardly sells for more than a dozen gil."

"Sure!" Khrima says, averting his laser and blowing a hole in the wall. "I’m about out."

Gildward wordlessly draws out the tube for the shadows within his cloak, and tosses it to Khrima. The archvillain snatches out of the air easily, and says, "Umm, could I have a little privacy."

"Sure," Gildward answers, "Could you tell me where the way out is?"

"Easy," Khrima replies, turning off the TV as it blares ‘Wheel! Of! Ill! Fourtune!’ "Just go down the hall, take a right, and then two lefts. Then hit the switch, then go back to left, then to the teleporter. Teleport four times, and touch the orb. Then teleport once more, and throw the switch that appeared. After that, you’re home free once you leap down the chute and take three rights."

"Okay," Gildward answers.

"No problem," Khrima says, as Gildward walks out. Right before closing the door, the bard hears Khrima hit a call button, and say, "Hey, Aeris, I need some help putting on some Wing-B-Gone. Yeah, that’s right. Bring Luna and Elhaym, too; I think I’m going to need a lot of help..."

***

"Now let's see," says The World’s Strongest Bard in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor, scratching his head as he considers the warp pad in front of him "Teleport three times and throw the switch. No wait, four times and throw the switch. Ah spoony! I knew I should have written that down!"

Suddenly the warp pad flares to life! Gildward takes several steps back, bumping into a large steel crate, as the Silver-Haired Man in Silken Black Robes appears! "I think you have something of mine," says, as Ramirez’s Theme fills the air.

The bard gasps as the Silver-Haired Man in Silken Black Robes makes a quick motion with his hand. The Gold-Trimmed Black Armor suddenly vanishes off of Gildward’s shoulders, and reappears back on its rightful owner.

"There," says the Silver-Haired Man (once more) in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor, "Now to deal with you."

Running a hand down his face, he invokes, "Where there is light, there is darkness..." A sword made of shadowy energy appears in his hand, "Sword of the Dark Moon..." The slashes with the blade, tearing a rift in the air. He steps into that rift, and outside of time. Turning on Gildward, he leaps and slashes, then does so again from a different angle, and third time. After striking eight times, he steps back through the rift and announces, "Silver Eclipse!"

As the sword dissolves in the Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor’s hand, ahe looks around, by Gildward is nowhere to be seen! A large white ‘MISS’ hovers over a steel crate in the corner, revealing that the bard is hiding there.

"Spoony," swears The Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor, "You’re not going to come out of there, are you?"

"Nope," answers the bard.

The Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor sighs, and says, "Fine..." Then he steps back through the teleporter and vanishes.

After a few moments, Gildward pops his head out, and looks around. There is no sign of The Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor anywhere. With the swiftness that only a bard can attain, he dashes out of the room and down the hall!

***

Breathless, Gildward screechs to a halt in a massive chamber filled with huge mechanical vehicles of all kinds. Leaning against a tank, the bard lets his heart slow down, and surveys his surroundings.

War machines of every shape and description are parked here. Tanks, Robots, Flying Machines, Mecha, and things that defy the bard’s ability to describe. Quickly, Gildward recognizes this as the place where he was captured. In fact, he looks over and sees Kemmit and Meck’s tank!

Still, seeing that doesn’t do a lot to help him. Gildward has no idea how to drive a tank, and chances are it isn’t enough to help him anyway. However, parked right next to it is something that catches Gildward’s and holds it quite firmly. Essentially it is a simple pod with two rotor blades attached to the sides, and two robotic arms extending down from the underside. The bard smiles as he walks toward the vintage IAF Fighter.

In truth, Gildward has no more an idea how to use the Sky Armor as he does to drive a tank, but the classic piece of Imperial Machinery simply weaves a lure too powerful for him to resist. He suspects that Khrima must have bought it from the massive yardsale that Emperor Gestahl had a few months ago. He also remembers being left behind when Karn went on the miniquest at Gestahl’s yardsale.

Sliding into the pilot’s seat, he finds a set of buttons curiously labeled X, Y, A, and B set in the control panel by the control stick. Shugging, he hits the X button, and is rewarded by the front gates of the vehicle bay sliding upon. Smiling, he hits the A button, and the Sky Armor’s engines roar to life. Pressing the B button makes Gildward jump in surprise as "Ride of the Valkyries", converted to the appropriate sound file, suddenly blares from nowhere!

Gildward shrugs again, and draws out the stilleto he won off Pappy not too long ago, and affixs it to the crown of his bard hat, mimicking a Prussian Military Helm much as Kemmit did yesterday. Then, with the mood set, he grasps the controls of the IAF Fighter, and zooms skyward as he hits the Y button and retracts the landing struts!

The bay zooms by, and the bard’s machine races out into the open air. The bright sunlight stings his eyes, but Gildward doesn’t care as he laughs in victory. That laugh dies in his throat as "Ride of the Valkyries" dies out, and is replaced by "Magic Emperor Battle".That is punctuated by a sudden explosion and the Sky Armor rocking violently, then emitting a number of noises that machines make when they are not happy.

Reacting quickly, Gildward sets the Sky Armor to dive, and a number of Tek Lasers fly over his head, followed by an orange IAF Fighter that zooms past a moment later! As the bard works to land his damaged machine, he studies the orange fighter, a Spit Fire if he recalls correctly, and notices the pilot has silver hair!

As the ground approachs, the bard extend the landing struts, and cuts his speed. Pulling up, he pulls off a perfect three point landing, as though he were not just randomly hitting buttons.

As he leaps out of the Sky Armor, not wanting to get caught if it explodes, the Spit Fire lands as well. The Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor teleports from the IAF Fighter, and reappears in front of Gildward.

"Let us see you hide now, Bard," says the Silver-Haired Guy in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor. Gildward prepares to do just that, until he realizes that he was forced to land in the middle of a grassy plain and that there is nowhere for him to hide.

"What a time for logic to kick in," he grumbles, then looks up and says, "I don’t suppose we can let bygones be bygones...? Please?"

Before the Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor can answer, a familiar thunderous roar echoes from behind Gildward! As a dark form races by, all Gildward can hear is a deafening, "GGGGGRRRAAAAAAAA- Oh, hello there, old bean! Nice day, isn’t it? Won’t be but a moment, here.-AAAAAHHHHHHH!"

The massive StrmGgas charges by, preparing to bear its fists down on the Silver-Haired Guy in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor. He simply waits for the monster to draw near, then lifts his hand and says, "Die!" A column of purple energy, which Gildward recognizes as a spell called Fate Storm, rises from the ground and engulf the StrmGgas! It shrieks in a moment of agony as its soul is torn from its body.

Fate Storm, ponders the bard, isn’t that an attack that Ghaleon uses? And doesn’t Ramirez use Silver Eclipse? As the StrmGgas falls, Gildward draws out Musicallibur and takes a steadying breath. Then he plucks a single string, trying his best to mimic the tolling of a bell. He repeats that sound twice more, them does his best to replicate the sound of a low toned violin and the voices of a digitized choir on the harp’s strings.

The Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Armor pauses as Gildward’s song drowns out ‘Magic Emperor Battle’. Then recognizing it as none other than an all-harp version of ‘Those Chosen by the Planet’, he smiles and says, "Clever, bard. Come north and we shall finish this, and the calamity from the skies shall be reborn."

With a swift motion, he withdraws a green materia from within the depths of his cloak and flings it at Gildward, slaming into his chest hard enough to make him stagger. Luckily for the bard, this wasn’t meant as an attack. Otherwise, with his negative defense score and low hit points, it would have shattered his ribcage. Still, it doesn’t prevent the impact from hurting so bad that Gildward isn’t able to see the Silver-Haired Man in Gold-Trimmed Black Armor fly away, becoming a dot on the horizon.

After a few moments, he catches his breath enough to stand, and picks up the materia. He recognizes it as a Destruct Materia. He also recognizes that it completely useless, as no one has any materia slots in their weapons. Still he tucks it away in his cloak, seconds before the damaged Sky Armor explodes, catching the Spit Fire and handly knocking Gildward out.

***

"Hey, wake up!" Comes a familiar voice, cutting through the blackness of the bard’s unconsciousness as something shakes him roughly by the shoulders. Slowly opening his eye, Gildward sees a man with green hair and pointed ears hovering over him.

"Karn?" He asks weakly.

"That’s right!" Karn exclaims, "Whew! You had me worried there. I was afraid we’d have to use a Life Potion on you or something!"

As Gildward sits up, He looks around to see a blue-haired mage, an oranged thief in a blue overcoat, and a brown-haired ninja looks at him. "Why do you have a dagger stuck in your hat?" Asks the mage, Ardam. "Or should I even bother worrying about it?"

"Hey, a GuardBlade!" exclaims the thief. "Those are pretty nice! Too bad I already bought something better back in town."

"Why are you out here, anyway?" Asks the ninja woman.

"Isn’t it obvious?" Karn answers, "I’m suppose to join the party now! We must need him for something up ahead! Karashi, take five. We’ll put you back in as soon as we’re done here."

"Joy..." Karashi replies, turning and starting back toward town.

"Anyway," Karn continues, "Let’s go! We’ll need to do some extra level building, with Gildward around. Can’t have his too weak to help out with the boss fight, eh?"

The thief looks like he is about to say something, but Gildward silences him with the glare he perfected while masquerading in the Gold-Trimmed Black Armor. Finally, after waiting for so long, he’ll get to be in the active party! And no two-bit thief is going to rob him of that.

As Karn leaps the way, looking for Devilrabbits; and the mage groans and begs the powers that be to advance the plot; Gildward follows with a smile, and begins to compose a ballad about his sub-quest. And though it draws the occasional odd glance from Ardam, he leaves the stilleto in his hat; he has worked too hard not to enjoy the benefits of a sprite change...

 

Moral: Bards may have low HP, Defense, and Offense; but they often have high luck and intelliegence scores. ;)